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In the last month, life as we know it has been flipped on its head. You may think everything has changed, but in many ways, you could argue that nothing has changed in the art of how to take a good dick pic.
For the millions of singles or long-distance couples spending lockdown apart, nudes are literally all you have right now, and here at BH — we want to help. Think of our guide on how to take a good dick pic as just another practical way to upskill. By merely being a woman on a dating app, I have unwillingly been sent dozens of them as conversation openers.
All without asking, and not even one of them worthy of a screenshot to send to a friend. Because to add insult to injury, these unwanted surprises are usually poorly lit or blurry snaps taken at what can only be described as genuinely frightening angles, and more often than not, alongside bizarre kitchen props true story. If we like you, you can find a harmonious balance between witty and dirty chat, and spice things up with the perfect dick pic which we expressly ask forit could work absolute wonders for both bad dick pics and us.
Not just in isolation, either, but well beyond.
I think it is a skill that can be learned and perfected in a surprisingly short amount of time. One of the best parts of receiving a dick pic is the build-up to receiving it. Just like any sort of sexting, have fun with it, test the waters to ensure you are both keen and start slow.
Pacing is crucial. Remember the thrill is in the chase, not just the end game. Men and women approach desire very differently. What do you think all those Diptyque candles are for? Smell, sound and touch play equal parts in sexual tension. Ensure she is in peak comfort by making use of the excellent drink delivery services at the moment. Ordering her a bottle of vino for the night you want things to get heated is a nice little touch.
It also gives you the chance to get some feedback. Because we can confirm that sending a bad dick pic is truly worse than not sending one at all. Test a snap in your quality, hole-free, clean and fitted boxers or briefs, which accentuate your outline. Next is how to compose the photo itself.
Natural lighting always works best and should be your preference over artificial sources of lighting. However, I am very aware that bad dick pics likelihood of a daytime dick pic is relatively low. If you are getting the green light in the day, however, good for you! If you need to rely on artificial lighting, be mindful of the hue, colour and how it affects what you look like on camera. Focus as well on any shadows cast from the light, or your phone as you take the shot. Please avoid lighting the shot with the artificial glow from your laptop screen, TV or the torch from your phone.
FFS, zoom out! Lead with whichever is your better asset. Such as looking down at your penis with your toes in the background. Or up from the base, including your tensed up face trying so hard to concentrate on bending yourself into a pretzel to take the shot. Any selfie angle from front-on or from slightly above you is preferred. You can achieve this lying down, standing or kneeling.
Avoid using a mirror, as the flash or wider reveal of your bedroom could ruin it. Arch your back a bit and play with your flattering angles. If you need assistance from a tripod, or books to prop up your phone so you can take a front-on shot with the self-timer, so be it.
The POV we would typically have is sitting on top of you, so a shot of you laying on the bed holding your phone above you at a one-chin only reveal height is a reasonably safe bet. Your backdrop is essential.
But ditch the desire to photoshoot your dick in the kitchen next to a cutlery drawer, resting in the sink of the bathroom, or hanging over the toilet again, sadly all very true stories. We will validate your penis if you take the time and effort in putting together an excellent pic for us.
Not if you are just screaming out for validation of your size. If we see you getting creative, our minds will naturally wonder how creative you might be in the bedroom — a much better way for us to size you up than seeing your actual size-to-scale.
Hands are the only pre-approved prop you should be using. Providing they are clean, rid of dirty fingers nails, and positioned well. Similarly, I should mention the outfit here. Stay on theme. If you have opted for a fresh out-of-the-shower look, wet hair and a towel are convincing. If you have chosen the bed as your backdrop, commit to an outline shot in pyjamas, or no pyjamas. It will leave us with far more questions than you think the picture answers. If our conversation heats up in the evening, and you send us a sunny daylight dick pic you prepared earlier, we are going to smell a rat.
If you are, however, concerned with privacy, there are plenty of ways to send us a great photo without your face in it. And many different expiry options depending on where you choose to send it. However, if you have already exchanged a series of photos that have gone down well, the same rules apply. Women like storyline, subtlety and build up. The most important takeaway from this guide on how to take a good dick pic should be putting your bad dick pics aside and putting yourself in the shoes of the woman receiving it. Our priorities are different.
Have fun with it! The positive thing about a global pandemic is the businesses bad dick pics blossom out of it. Published on 15th April by Sera Bozza. Written by Sera Bozza. Tagged advice Sex. Related Articles.Bad dick pics
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How To Take A Good Dick Pic: A Complete Guide